Getting a good conversation going with someone you’ve never met before can be tough. Many people ﬁnd that after a while they just run out of things to talk about and the conversation ﬁzzles out. Some can handle the initial small-talk but they don’t know how to get to the next stage – the stage where you really start to feel like you’re bonding with the other person.
Many say that you should ask lots of questions on a ﬁrst date, but we believe it’s more about asking the right questions than asking lots of them – your date shouldn’t feel like he or she is being interviewed. In this article, we’ll be listing 5 great questions that really spark up a conversation.
The goal is to move away from the boring small-talk type questions as quickly as possible and instead get to asking the questions that really allow you to get to know the other person, questions that show your date that you really are interested in them. questions about their passions in life, their aspirations, the pet peeves. We want to ask questions that invoke emotion and a thought out answer as opposed to questions that can be answered in a short statement e.g. “Yes, I have a cat. She’s 5 years old.”, “I’m an accountant, at a ﬁrm in the city.”
First of all, we’ll list some of the questions you’ll want to try and move away from:
1. What do you do for a living?
2. What do you like to do in your free time?
2 3. What’s your favourite type of music?
4. Do you have any pets?
5. Where did you grow up?
It’s okay to ask these questions and then delve deeper based on their answers, but if you ﬁnd yourself moving through a list of questions similar to this, your conversation will turn stale quickly!
Here we’ve rewritten the questions above, and made them much more interesting:
1. What’s the best thing about your job?
2. If you didn’t have to work any more, what would you choose to do all day?
3. What’s the cheesiest song you have on your phone?
4. Do you prefer dogs or cats? (potentially a controversial question…)
5. If you could have grown up anywhere in the world, where would you have chosen?
Often the worst questions to ask, aren’t that different from the best questions, but by wording them differently they become more open-ended, more thought-provoking, and more likely to invoke an emotional response of some sort (ideally, one that doesn’t involve the person bursting into tears!)
1. If you could do anything for a day, what would you do?
2. If you could bring any TV show character to life who would it be?
3 3. If you could only watch one TV show for the rest of your life, which one would it be?
4. What’s the most unusual thing on your bucket list?
5. What’s the hardest/scariest thing you’ve ever done?
6. What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you?
7. Do you prefer dogs or cats? (potentially a controversial question…)
8. If you didn’t live in Cambodia, where would you want to live?
9. If I gave you $1,000 and told you to spend it all in the next 3 hours, what would you buy?
These examples may seem a bit random to you, and they are, but they make a conversation so much more interesting. These questions get your date to think about their answer, and they’re fun. You don’t need to ask these exact questions, however, quirky and fun questions like these are often received well.
It is important that you read the person, and you read the situation. The goal is ultimately to ﬁnd common ground that will allow the conversation to ﬂow naturally on its own. You might ask your date which TV show character they’d choose to bring to life and through that you might discover that they’re also a big fan of a show you like! You shouldn’t be running through your questions like a script, or your conversation will start to feel like an interview.
We hope you found this article helpful and informative! Still searching for that special someone? It takes just a few moments to sign up on our site, and start to meet single men and women online. The best part? It’s completely free!